You Are Your Child's Best Advocate. Trust Your Instincts.

I spent the day yesterday with a few other parents in our special needs support group. We didn't spend every minute talking about our kids, but when we did, it was great to know that the others "got it." Which got me to thinking about how fortunate I am that our homeschooling friends "get us" too.

A couple of years ago, Jack was injured on the zipline at a friend's house. He had been nervous about getting on it in the first place. The other moms, rather than making a big deal about his injuries (after we knew he was okay, but bruised), all made an effort to tell him how brave he was to get on the zipline. It wasn't patronizing, and it refocused his brain to his accomplishment rather than his fear.

Then I remembered back when Jack was smaller - around four or five - and I spent a lot of time reading stuff about ADD, ADHD, and food dyes and preservatives, trying to figure out how to help him. A friend told me that as long as I was looking for something wrong I would find it, and he was fine. Of course, Jack is "fine," but there are also several things going on - even more than I could have imagined all those years ago. And that friend and her negativity are no longer part of our lives.

When asked for parenting advice, my go-to answer is, "God specifically gave you those children. He also gave you the common sense to know how to care for them. Read, ask others, but in the end, trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone."

A neurological diagnosis doesn't fix everything, nor does it even change anything, really. But if it helps you determine the best ways to help your child cope, or enables you to get help that your child may need, then don't give up. When friends, family, or even doctors tell you that nothing is wrong, use your instincts, and continue to be your child's best advocate.

Review: Understanding Child Brain Development DVD

I'm a reviewer for The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew over at my other blog, Living, Learning, and Loving Life, and I was thrilled to review a DVD this week that was full of fascinating information. You can read my full review here.

*I don't get a commission from the purchase of the DVD, but I did receive the DVD free for the purpose of reviewing it.

Explaining Personal Space to Your ASD Child

As with so many things related to ASD, there is a wide range of behavior when it comes to personal space and touching. Some kids don't want to be touched and they certainly don't want to snuggle. Others (like my son) have no understanding of personal space or inappropriate touching. He's still a snuggler at the age of ten, though, so it's not all bad. :-) We just have to teach him what is appropriate and what isn't.

When someone doesn't understand personal boundaries, they often annoy those around them by standing too close, touching too much or in the wrong places, or hugging inappropriately. I remember having J in Sunday School class/nursery at church when he was 18 months-2 years (long before I had even heard of Asperger's). I was in there with him during that time as a teacher, along with several other parents. (We had a 2-1 ratio and it was a big class.) J would hug the other kids, but then not let go and they would end up both falling over. Or the other child would get tired of the game and want loose. I would have to go pry J off the other child. Most of the other teachers were also parents of children in the class, and they just thought it was cute and sweet. No one was ever hurt.  I used to say, "It's a hug for about five seconds. After that, it's assault." (Actually, I still say that.) Well, what's funny at the age of two isn't so funny at the age of 15 or 20. So I'm always trying to teach him what is appropriate behavior so we don't end up with a serious problem later.